Sunday, February 27, 2005

The Oscars

Given the hour of the post, it's clear that Hollywood's annual ceremony of self-congratulation, the Oscars, is well underway. My wife put it on twice over my objections and oddly enough, both times during Passion of the Christ technical nominations, neither of which won (I mean, duh!).

But I'll make these projections about the event, and you'll have to take my word that I haven't bothered to watch anything else of it.

- Chris Rock will take full advantage of the tape delay.
- There will be much Bush bashing, as a result of the bitterness engendered when the celebrities view these billboards upon their arrival.

And a few non-surprises...

- Abortion will be lauded.
- Celebrities will thank everyone down to the gaffer and best boy.
- The phrase "it's an honor just to be nominated" will be uttered by a winner, as the nominees who didn't win somehow disagree.
- politics will win over substance.

The reason I don't bother watching. These people pat themselves on the back so hard that they break their own arms. It's not a very pretty sight.


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